When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
