How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
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