I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
false alarm. still invincible.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
