Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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