The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
