Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
