i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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