omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
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