I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
