I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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