even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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