Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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