I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
