Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize