Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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