This is not my ceiling
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
