You're completely useless in the revolution.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
