Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
