And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
