Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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