you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
