i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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