I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize