if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
