Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize