come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
