Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
