What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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