Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
