I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
