let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Randomize
