I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
