I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
We got so high we made milksteak
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
