I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
He told me they were just razor bumps!
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
