Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
