When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
