I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
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