remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize