Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
