Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You are the jesus of drinking
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
