he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
