i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
