respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
