dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
