Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
