Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
