One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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