I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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