It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Drake has all the answers
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
