My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize
