Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
