I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Randomize
