I can tuck mytits in my pants
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
