I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize
