end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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