why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
