There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
