Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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