I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
