I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Randomize
